A is for Adapt
Welcome back to the Single Dad Zone. In speaking to many single dads, I have found the struggles and obstacles I faced are commonplace. I also found many resources for single moms, but few for single dads. I created the Single Dad Zone to be a place for us to share what we have learned to be better and more efficient dads.
The Single Dad Zone A to Z: A is for Adapt
This is an A to Z series on the three core areas where I believe single dads need to focus: Mindset, Fitness and Organization. A is for adapt.
One of the distinguishing factors between humans and animals is our ability to quickly adapt. We have the innate ability to assess a situation and adapt. If we failed or felt pain from a situation, we can quickly adapt. We can adapt physically, or emotionally to almost anything.
The easiest way to see how quickly you can adapt is with fitness. Grab some weights, modify your diet and in about two weeks you will start to see weight loss and muscle growth. Your body is simply adapting to the change. It’s remarkable how much your body can adapt and change over time.
As a single parent, the ability to emotionally adapt is essential to positive wellbeing. The first area that I had to adapt to was surviving without a spouse and raising my two wonderful kids. This was one of the hardest adaptation that I ever had to make. I was deeply emotionally hurt. At times, I felt like throwing in the towel and giving up. I felt anxiety and depression.
We also learn to adapt when things are not working. For example, I was trying to force my kids to behave better through harsher discipline. I was losing my mind and eventually ended up just yelling, which left me defeated and disgusted with myself. I am very against losing my temper and yelling. It’s not effective and undermines my love for them. I found a book called 1-2-3 Magic and it changed everything. Using a reward system instead of punishment, resulted in a total adaptation in my actions and the kids’ behavior. They’re still far from perfect, but are any kids perfect? The adaptation has resulted in a much appreciated harmony in the household.
When I do a tough workout, I struggle and pesereserve. Eventually, my body adapts. When adjusting to my new reality as a single dad, I also struggled and pesereserved. Over time, I am emotionally adapted. I started to feel stronger and take pride in my situation. I know feel like a single Dad athlete.
The human ability to adapt is amazing. You have to trust in it. You have to believe that you can adapt physically or emotionally to anything life throws at you. When you understand your ability to adapt, you will find the secret to remaining positive even under the most challenging physical and emotional stresses life can hit you with.
A is for adapt. Comment with some of the ways you have adapted to your circumstances. The more we share, the more we can learn from each other.